mercy

A thousand, a million sorry that would never be enough to fill your pain nor cover this crater left in my heart, that would forever be a part of me to remind me of everything I deserve now.
We were everything and now we have nothing but pain to handle, undoubtedly, you're going through more than I am. The dilemma you're in, the aftermath of seperation, the physical ordeal, the mind pressing issues. How I wish I can provide for you, almost in every aspect. But I know the hatred you have for me is deeply etched into both heart and mind. This bastard that came and burn. You never should have gon through this. You deserve to be tenderly loved. The fact of this breaks me but also relieves me, because I know you'll be in a better care than being with me. You will be stronger one day. And happier. When the day comes, is the day I will pray and thank god for his kindness and mercy on your soul.
I did not want to post any thing anymore. But I have no where to vent, no one to guide me, no one to tell, no you. All I have now are regrets, guilt, lost love, a broken heart, mindlessness, half sainity..
All the ways to make things right, and I broke the golden rule of what make things wrong. Path of no return. A one way ticket to hell. brainwashed my most beloved and everyone to hate me. Crashed my own world. Blood in my hands. Destroyed the beautiful life you had. Burned our dream.

Please god, save her...
Cos I'm willing to exchange my all and whole of life for her happiness